Prologue
Centerville, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, 2nd June
Judith sat watching the incoming tide lap over her red toenails and wet the brilliant white lace of her wedding gown. Tears caused it all to blur to pink. She didn’t like pink. Not that anyone cared that she didn’t like the colour. The church had been filled with pink flowers. Hundreds of lilies to be precise and their scent still filled her nostrils despite the brisk breeze coming in with the tide.
Hours ago she had stood in the doorway of the church. The altar had been barely visible for all the massed blooms in every shade of the wretched colour; particularly pale pink. Her fiancé, John stood: tall, blond and perfect waiting for her yet even he’d not escaped the colour with a waistcoat matching the flower girls’ dresses. Like dolls they had spun around her knees with pink stinking lilies clutched in their fists.
The heat of the early June afternoon intensified the cloying floral scent to overwhelming levels, as the soprano in the choir loft hit high notes on some hymn Judith hadn’t recognize. A drop of sweat trickled had down her cleavage. June was not supposed to be this hot on Cape Cod and certainly not on her wedding day. She leaned forward to catch a glimpse of John who had the most heart melting smile on his face. The decadent bouquet she held reached the floor with its cascade. Almost as if she hadn’t really been there, she had watched her hands tremble and sweat so much that she dropped the candyfloss mess.
The salty water of the Gulf Stream took the stiffness out of the lace skirt so that it collapsed against her legs. Now she felt at peace with the damn dress; wet and shapeless. A seagull dive-bombed in front of her forcing her to wipe her eyes so that she could see if he was successful. He was and she smiled. At least someone got what they wanted.
Chapter One
The Nare, Cornwall, England, 27th March 1846
Tobias Trevenen stood on Nare Head looking at the waves crashing onto the rocks below. The wind tossed his brown hair side to side obscuring his vision. In the distance, he watched the four mast barque fight its way toward Falmouth in the heaving water. The sky was increasingly grey as the weather closed in. Toby came here most days to watch the sea as that is where his mother was.
Time was short. Visitors were due from London and he must be at home when they arrived. Father was in a dither and everyone in the house was out of sorts. The approaching storm was peaceful compared with the tension enclosing the house. Mrs. Williams, the house keeper, had hit Toby with a cloth as he had crept out. Her anger with him was rarer than the treasure he had found on his outings on the river. There was treasure at August Rock, but thus far no one believed him. Soon it would be time to look again but not yet.
Turning his back to the churning water he walked slowly to his horse, Mabel who was sheltering from the wind under a low tree. The ground was spongy where the frost had recently departed. By the time he reached her, his legs were covered in mud. If Mrs. Williams was still in a state, the condition of his clothing would make her mood worse. He was positive there was something more to the unease of everyone in the house. It wasn’t the approaching storm. It must be the visitors. They were relations he had never met and Toby was going to celebrate his thirteenth birthday with them. This seemed to be making everyone grumpy including him.
Mabel nuzzled his pocket looking for the apple he always had for her when he took her this far from home. Even though the house had a good view of the sea it was too sheltered to feel the power of the ocean and to hear the call of the voices. The Helford was far too gentle unless there was an easterly blowing and then she would become a little passionate about living. Out on the Nare, you could hear things and feel things as the wind tore at your clothes and water bashed up from the sea.
The heavy clouds began emptying as he sat on Mabel. He could feel the damp and soon he would be soaked. The jacket he wore offered no protection it was too small. His arms were showing from his sleeves of the jacket which had been new at Christmas. Mrs. Williams told him that was what boys do. They get big and messy. She would hug and smother the life out of him before she would push him out of the kitchen into the garden. Standing with shoulders back he was almost as tall as she. Toby hoped he would be taller than his father but he doubted it. His mother had been very petite and he resembled her more than his father. Well that was what Mrs. Williams had told him.
“Toby, my lover, you’re your mother’s son. More like her every day.” She would pause, study him again then finish. “Yes, you’ve the look of her alright.”
He wished he could tell, but all he could go on was a small sketch that he had been given when he went to London six years ago with his father. They had visited an artist’s studio. He could still see the big windows in the studio and hear the yelling. The artist had handed him the sketch before pushing him out into the garden where he couldn’t hear the words just the loudness. Toby had spied a portrait of his mother not yet complete. He often wondered why his father hadn’t received the painting. Toby wanted to be able to see his mother, but his father did not. At least he could hear her in the sea. He knew she was there.
At the top of the hill stood large gates to Trevenen House and Mabel slowed. He loved the granite sentinels that greeted all at the beginning of the long tree-covered drive. Toby caught a glimpse of the vast house nestled and protected from the wind in the hollow yet still proud above the river looking toward the mouth of the Helford and Falmouth Bay.
Rain ran down his face as he urged the horse forward. Once close to the stables, the biting wind did not hit him yet trees were bent with its force gusting above the safety of the courtyard. Maybe the visitors would not venture forth in such weather? Maybe the house would be quiet and peaceful? Toby knew as he thought these things that sitting outside in the storm would be better than the environment he would face inside.
The stable yard was deserted. No coaches in sight or the flurry of the grooms working to settle horses. At least he had returned before they had arrived. He would not be told off for that, but he knew he was in trouble. His feet were as heavy as his heart. He left Mabel with the groom who looked pained without his usual smile. Why was everyone so glum?
As he rounded the stable block, the house loomed in front of him. Grey and solid, it sat untroubled by the gale. Even the Helford was angry now. White horses came charging into the mouth of the river as rain swept at him horizontally. Mawnan Sheer was no longer visible on the north shore.
“Master Tobias,” Mrs. Williams’ voice was barely audible.
Toby knew then things were bad.
“You are soaked through and the guests are due any minute.”
Toby sidestepped her as the smallest thing would set off her wrath. Her anger reminded him of the largest of the four cannons that sat on the lawn overlooking the river. When she let rip nothing was left standing in her path.
“Get the wet off and go to your father in the drawing room. He’s been waiting for you for the past hour.”
The dread he had been feeling all day was not imagined but real. Dragging his feet he left the kitchen and headed to his room.
Chapter Two
Oxford, 1st July
Dust from the books shelves lining the walls of the sitting room glowed in the late afternoon sunlight like literary faeries. Judith laughed. Faeries? Childhood things. Simple. She hesitated before walking outside. Being in Oxford brought back so many memories, but she didn’t want to think. She had done far too much of that recently. Even good memories might allow the less pleasant things to fight their way to the surface. Simply nothing was the same except, of course, her God-mother, Barbara.
Barbara was stretched out on a sun lounger with her lurid old sun hat covering her face. The overgrown state of the garden was wilder since Jude had been here as a student five years ago. She had been surprised that her key still worked, but then things around Barbara never seemed to alter. Students came and went; more books were written yet somehow the woman remained true to herself. Pulling her shoulders back, Judith crossed the threshold.
Barbara’s hand reached for the jug beside her and topped up a rather large gin and tonic. “Is that you, Jude? God, you look like you need this more than me. Shall I get you one?”
She waved at the seat beside her and Judith sank into it staring almost without seeing at the honeysuckle that had taken over the garden wall. While she had lived her much of her spare time was spent trying to tame this wilderness, but nothing of her hard work had remained.
“I wondered when you’d appear.” Barbara handed her the glass. “I thought it might be sooner.”
“It would have been if I could have untangled things quicker.” Judith took a deep sniff of the drink enjoying the scent of the juniper.
“I bet.” Barbara laughed. “Your timing was immaculate. Full marks for achieving the maximum effect.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
Barbara raised an eyebrow. “A few days or even months earlier would have been a bit more convenient; however it’s a blessing you didn’t go through with it. Once you’ve stopped savouring the aroma of your drink and swallowed some, would you care to tell me just what happened to the all-pleasing Judith? Why the last-minute rebellion?”
The alcohol hit the back of Judith’s throat and made her cough, or it was Barbara’s questions. “Where do I start?”
“Do you love him? Did you love him? Have you spoken to him in your untangling? He was a bloody star, by the way.”
Judith winced. Even Barbara’s crisp English accent didn’t disguise the reprimand. Never one to avoid the issue, Barbara marched where few dared to go. How she and Mother had remained friends all these years was a mystery to Judith. Maybe their years at school together created a bond that couldn’t be broken even though Judith’s mother’s life was all show and Barbara’s was discreet disdain for society and all its trappings.
“Was he a star?” Judith took another slug. She didn’t want to think about John and how she had hurt him, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to shift Barbara off the subject and onto more important things like helping Judith find some sort of work.
Just hearing his name caused pain. Again she could see the image of John standing at the altar looking so handsome that her knees trembled, and yet she had still walked away. Why didn’t she just go through with it? Could she wind back the clock?
“Yes, he damn well was. Your mother screamed then fainted. His mother turned blue. Did anyone tell you any of this?”
Judith shook her head. The drink must have been more gin than tonic because the image those words created made Judith laugh.
“Laugh you may and it was quite funny if I’m honest, but your mother may never recover. As for his, well…” Barbara trailed off.
“No, you’re right.” Judith wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. She shouldn’t laugh; it was serious as her mother, Jane, had reminded her. Even though Jane had not uttered another word directly to her, Jude still her voice every day. But Jane had a point, Judith had bolted from her wedding and no one knew why. Poor John had been left facing questions he couldn’t answer.
“Now, shall we start again? Why did you agree to marry him? Do you love him?” Barbara’s eyes didn’t leave her face.
“I…Well, I suppose I do. I’ve known him forever. He’s funny and handsome and who would think someone like that would want me?”
“That doesn’t answer any of my questions.”
“No?” Judith bit her lip. “He’s my friend. I love him. I always have. He’s safe and I...I felt that marrying him would shut Mother up and give me a life of my own.”
“Really? How’s that supposed to work? You were replacing your mother with John? Married life is not your own life, it’s a joint life.” Barbara placed her glass down with force.
“I didn’t think of it that way. John was looking too and we both felt that we would be happy together. We thought our parents would be happy and we could move along without the constant pressure.”
“John felt the same? No wonder you bolted. When you walk down the aisle you should only be doing it for love, not for convenience. Not in this day and age.” Barbara leaned back in her chair. “Well, my girl, you’ve done the right thing and saved yourself and John from a divorce a few years down the line.”
“Yes, I know.” Judith downed the rest of her drink. “But it sure as hell hasn’t made life any easier.” She stopped all the thoughts ready to tumble out. They had nothing to do with John and Barbara wanted to know about John.
Barbara snorted. “Who told you life would be easy? It’s never easy, but you’re certainly doing a brilliant job at making it more complicated.”
“Why did you leave so quickly?” Judith asked. Just when she needed support, her only hope had been on the first flight back to England. Barbara turned and looked Judith in the eye.
“I wasn’t going to stand between you and Jane. I love you both. Nothing I could have said or done at that point would have helped so I left thus avoided an awkward situation.”
Judith’s lips twitched. Typical of Barbara to look at it in a completely different light and that was why she was here. She was twenty-eight and had made a mess of her life and hurt so many people in the process. She needed space to find some clarity of thought. What she going to do with her life now that she had turned all the well laid plans on their head?
“What’s going on in that clever head of yours?”
“Clever head? You’ve got to be kidding. I’ve gone and done something so stupid and you call me clever?” Judith laughed.
“Yes, I do. You were intelligent enough to pull the plug before permanent damage was done. You’re smart and beautiful, but you need to find that out for yourself. Have you make amends with John? He deserves it.”
Judith looked into her empty glass.
“Yes, you do need another one.” Barbara filled her glass “So it was that bad?”
Judith swallowed. “No, not really.” The roses by the shed were the same colour as the sea spray one’s that lined Long Beach Road the day she had had to face the music.
She had walked and tried to rehearse what she was going to say, but her mind was blank. She had no idea why she had bolted. It was a just a feeling that this would be a huge mistake. Even it now brought tightness to her chest. John’s car had been parked in front of the Millers’ house. She hadn’t wanted to see anyone and certainly not close friends who would expect an explanation. John was going to be tough enough, but he, of anyone, deserved to know. Her friends, her mother, her father could all wait. Maybe she could she tell them it was the lilies? But what about John?
The sun had warmed her back, but the breeze still held the cool air of the night as she reached the dead-end and had taken the path through the dunes. Her heart had stopped when she saw John sitting by the water’s edge tossing shells into the water. His shoulders were sloped down and the morning light played off his hair. Counting to ten she went to him. The first time they had kissed had been here on a starless night after a dare to go skinny dipping. Judith licked her lips remembering the taste of salt on John’s mouth and the pure thrill of that kiss. Now she had to explain why she couldn’t marry him. She slipped down onto the sand beside him. Her hand found his. He didn’t pull away...
“Hello? Judith?” Barbara tapped her arm. “Is this silence jetlag or were you on a different planet?”
“I was a world away that’s for sure.” Judith took a sip of gin.
“You were about to tell me about John.”
“Yes, well, John is okay.”
“Jude, that’s a load of crap. You’ve broken his heart.”
“Thanks, that’s just what I needed to hear again.”
“You didn’t come here for me to lie to you.”
“No, but it might make a nice change.”
Barbara tipped her head back and laughed. “There’s no changing an old hag like me, but on a brighter note I think I may have found you a perfect temporary job.”
“Excellent. Where?”
“Cornwall.”
A spark of excitement rose in Judith or it might have been the gin. Things were beginning to look up.
